25 Funniest Facebook Status Updates: Cringe Edition #Facebook

By on November 27, 2013
Funniest facebook status

The funniest Facebook status updates often go viral on the giant social network, which makes them high value if used in the right context for your brand. In the spirit of humor and market research, here are some of the most hilarious and bizarre updates found on Facebook this year. I wonder what next year is going to be like!

Do you know of a hilarious Facebook status update that you’re itching to share with me? I invite you to pop it in the comment section below.


  • I was addicted to the Hokey-Pokey but I turned myself around.
  • An SEO expert walked into a bar, pub, meeting place, café, restaurant, watering hole, club…
  • I like it when people call me “Sir”. I just wish they wouldn’t follow it up with “you’re making a scene.”
  • Some people are like Polaroids. You have to shake them violently before they make any sense.
  • Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I’ll ever get to being a magician.
  • Why are there stitch marks on zombies? Who the heck is giving them medical attention?
  • Funniest facebook status

    Courtesy of hdwallpaper2013.com

  • Whenever there’s an awkward silence, try whispering, “Did you forget your line?”
  • People keep mistaking my “wows” for compliments.
  • My hobbies include working out, staying fit, eating healthy, and lying.
  • Ok but how old is your child in minutes?
  • Bored? Find group photo of 4 women. Comment “You 3 look incredible!”
  • My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
  • Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends’ food looked like.
  • Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment.
  • If my calculations are correct, I can retire about 5 years after I die.
  • Pretty soon you’ll be able to get married online, instead of saying “I do” you will have to click “I agree to these terms and conditions.”
  • I think the discovery channel should be on a different channel every day.
  • You’re not laughing out loud. You know it and I know it.
  • I want piñatas at my funeral so people can be happy, but filled with bees so they’re not too happy.
  • I hate when people passive-aggressively post vague, indirect statuses. You know who you are…
  • How do they tell if Facebook employees are procrastinating?
  • Thank God I have the newest, fastest iPhone so I can mindlessly check the same three apps 5000 times a day.
  • I believe in magic because it’s the only way to explain how fitted sheets get folded.
  • I know the voices aren’t real but they have some great ideas.
  • There’s a not so small part of me that believes that Harry Potter was sold to us unassuming muggles as fiction.

See if you can use some of these funniest Facebook status updates to engage your audience and amuse them into chatting with you on your page. Sometimes all you need is a little bit of humor to get people in the right frame of mind. Choose updates that are either funny, witty, clever or thought-provoking – all of them will inspire conversation.

Which of these did you find the most amusing, and how would you use it in your niche?

About John Souza

John Souza is founder and chief strategist of SMMU and Social Media Impact, and is a bestselling business author. He won the 2011 Tech Marketing Awards ‘Social Media Marketer of the Year’ and most recently the About.com Reader’s Choice Award for Best Online Education Site. John has appeared on The Michael Gerber Show, and his business has been honored at the Mashable Awards, Forbes Business Awards and The Stevie Awards.
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