Top 10 Things To NOT Do on Twitter

By on May 6, 2011

We’re going to mix things up today with a blog about what not to do on Twitter. Hopefully it will help you sort out some finer points in your strategy!

#1: The OMG This Product Rocks Tweet

You may be an affiliate marketer, but tweeting that you love 15 different products a day, makes you look like a seriously confused kid in a candy shop. It doesn’t matter how much you ‘lurve’ those products, people don’t care about your opinion. Instead give them some benefits please!

Wrong: OMG! I just found this #awesome, #delicious and #amazingly #fantastic product at (no one cares)! Check out this link!!!!!!!

Right: #Coffee that never gets cold? It’s true, they’ve invented it. If you don’t believe it, have a look for yourself (link).

#2: The Look at My Dumb Tweet, Tweet

Trending topics are there to give you the opportunity to be relevant. If your tweet isn’t, for the love of cream-cheese bagels, leave it be.

Wrong: Oh no my pancake mix is all lumpy! #lillipution #politicians #bluetrucks #photosynthesis #pleaseshutthehellup

Right: I wish people wouldn’t use trending topics as their personal ‘look at my dumb, irrelevant tweet’ system. #pleaseshutthehellup

#3: The I’m Really Desperate for Friends Tweet

Asking random people to follow you live on Twitter is beyond sad. Remember the kid that always hung around but was never invited anywhere…that’s what you’re becoming.

Wrong: FOLLOW ME @Jacksprat @Pickles @Hunky09 @Businessweek @Tornado @Jellyfish @Pocahontas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right: Hi @Pickles I agree with your comment on burger making. Do you have a cool recipe for burgers? I have one for hotdogs – trade?

#4: The You’re Wrong, I’m Right Tweet

Being rude on Twitter won’t make you popular. If you feel strongly about something, tweet about it politely. This is your business at stake.

Wrong: WTF is your problem @DarthVadar? If you’re so @#%ing powerful why did your stupid son manage to beat you!! #idiots

Right: Tough one having your son beat you @DarthVadar. But you’ll get him next time, I’m sure of it! #Friends

#5: The Ridiculous Repeat Tweet

Don’t repeat your marketing messages. Change them! You’re invading people’s feeds, and you’re going to turn them into a gang of villagers holding pitchforks, who would like nothing more than to see your business on a sharpened stick.

Wrong: Buy these shoes. They are nice and red and shiny. (Link) RT!!!
Wrong: Buy these shoes. They are nice and red and shiny. (Link) RT!!!
Wrong: Buy these shoes. They are nice and red and shiny. (Link) RT!!!

Right: If they’re good enough for Angelina Jolie, then you’re going to go mad for this season’s hottest shoes! (Red and shiny!) (link)
Right: The shoes Jessica Alba wore to the Academy Awards were horrible! Major fashion fudge-up – (link) RT if you agree!

#6: The Hilarious, But Disgusting Retweet

Retweeting funny tweets is good, but if they’re controversial, disgusting, sexual or down-right wrong – take a moment, and ask yourself if you want it in your profile feed.

Wrong: RT @Slashleen says #@#*$& about the #*$%)# when #(%&#@ did #($($)@@!!!!! SICK!!!!

Right: (Vacant space. Think about your next move).

#7: The Mass Autotweet Tweets

If your feed belongs to your management program, don’t expect people to like you. No-one likes talking to a robot or a spam system.

Person to you: Hi @Voodoothatyoudoodoo I’m looking for a great deal on some fresh herbs, what do you have in store?

Wrong: Come buy ceramic pots at our store for only $9.99. That’s right, only $9.99 for some great new ceramic pots! Click this link – (link)

Person to you: … (spambot, permanent ignore).

Right: Hay @Wizardkid, we just got some great herbs in yesterday. I think you’ll like the white sage it’s new – check out our herb list here – (link).

#8: The Sunk Your Own Ship Tweet

Never publish personal tweets about your weekend, or that huge rave you went to last night. People don’t do business with party animals. Unless you buy and sell party supplies. Even then, keep it clean.

Wrong: One too many tequilas last night, not getting any work done today! #party

Right: Hitting the grindstone, will be working late tonight. How was your Friday @Amishwoman?

#9: The I Have Nothing To Say Tweet

You work in a niche field. There are millions of things you can tweet about, that don’t include the color of your coffee mug.

Wrong: I’m tired. Guess I’ll tweet on Twitter and then go to bed. #Inane

Right: Google Buzz continues to grow. Should Twitter be scared? Is Facebook going to do anything? Click here and find out! (link).

#10: The Lost in a Sea of Tweets Tweet

If you don’t hashtag your tweets, they’re only visible to your current community of ten people. Chances are, no ones going to see them as they go sailing by.

Wrong: The Random Impersonator is coming live to our venue on July 10th. RT this, and get 5% off your entrance tickets.

Right: 5% off your entrance tickets at #Jimmyslounge for The Random Impersonator coming July 10th. #Dallas #Randomimpersonator

Did we leave any ‘Don’ts’ off this list? Please contribute your ‘what not to do on Twitter’ below!

About John Souza

John Souza is founder and chief strategist of SMMU and Social Media Impact, and is a bestselling business author. He won the 2011 Tech Marketing Awards ‘Social Media Marketer of the Year’ and most recently the About.com Reader’s Choice Award for Best Online Education Site. John has appeared on The Michael Gerber Show, and his business has been honored at the Mashable Awards, Forbes Business Awards and The Stevie Awards.
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